Don’t talk to strangers.

As a rebellious middle child, I questioned “why” a lot. Maybe I was tired of the oldest and youngest getting all the attention, and that was my way of demanding it for myself. For whatever reason I’m glad I did not take this advice. I’m guilty of talking to strangers.

When you think about it, how does the world even get to know each other if no one ever talked to strangers? Guess what, mom. You were wrong about this (and the fact that I do, in fact, know everything.)

It’s a good thing my mom doesn’t have Twitter because she would be absolutely mortified to know I’ve been actively talking to strangers most of my life. I’m actually hooked on it. There is nothing I love more than getting to know something about someone that they are proud to share. Everybody has something, whether they know it or not.

This past weekend was spent in Washington DC, to visit with my husband in Arlington National Cemetery, and also to celebrate the 4th of July. The cemetery is always a peaceful place and where Fred helps me sort out whatever chaos is going on in my life at the time. By the end of our conversation, I’m back to center, or at least not spiraling out of control.

I also enjoy having conversations that are a little more two way. Over the course of 3 days, I had conversations with more than half a dozen people or groups. A family from Virginia, a family from the south, a pilot in Vietnam, a soldier in the Gulf wars turned journalist/conspiracy theorist, a skateboarder, a random guy at the Lincoln memorial, a Veteran from the 82nd Airborne that helps raise money for homeless Veterans, Trump supporters from New York State (Giants fans), a bus driver that’s a Redskins fan, and I even stooped to talk to a Cowboys fan.

Each day I would walk from the hotel to the National Mall to visit the various monuments and to people watch. Each day this walk took me through Freedom Plaza, on Pennsylvania Avenue, just up from the Whitehouse. I would see skateboarders there and every day I would think how great it was these kids had somewhere to skate. I think about how in New Jersey everything fun seems to be shut down by adults worried about them having too much fun. To me, nothing can impact the direction of a child’s life like being engaged in an activity that they find themselves good at, and are actually enjoying themselves, while learning. Why adults feel the need to crush things like this I will never understand.

In fact, I believe everyone should consider being a mentor. Even if it’s to the child next door that doesn’t have a father and it’s to show them how to change the oil in a car, or build something using tools. Somewhere in that experience you’ll discover what they are passionate about and what you can build upon. More importantly you will help them identify a talent they didn’t know they had and spark their desire to build upon it themselves. By investing a little bit of time to both listen and instruct, you can change the course of their lives.

On the last day, as I entered Freedom Plaza, I saw a woman sleeping on the wall that surrounds the plaza. I reached into my bag to see what I had to offer. I wanted to leave it for her for when she woke up, but didn’t see a convenient place. About 10 yards away was a skateboarder. As crazy as it will sound to most people, I asked him if he would give it to her when she woke up. He said absolutely. I know what most of you are thinking and I’m thinking you might be part of the problem in the world. Most people you come across are trustworthy. I analyzed the situation like this, if he saw what I was trying to do and offered to give it to her, that would be a red flag. But I approached him.

He actually said, we can go wake her up right now and give it to her. I said, no, I didn’t want to wake her up. I then commented on how impressed I was that the city lets them skate there. That started a long conversation about the history of skateboarding at that park named Freedom Plaza by the City, but Pulaski Park by those that skate there.

Here is a great video I found that says it all.

The skater I met proceeded to tell me that the homeless there find comfort and safety, because they know the skaters watch over them. The skaters give them extra when they have extra, and they run out the homeless or others that might bring trouble.

He did say occasionally someone with authority shows up and tries to run them out, but overall most support. He proceeded to tell me the Mayor supports them being there, as he pointed to her office nearby. It was heartwarming to hear this because all I knew about the Mayor at that point was what social media told me. And I’m quite sure we are not aligned on many other issues.

Hearing this shifted her into a different light for me, to a place where I could see someone that values relationships with her community. It gave me a starting point. It reinforced what I continue to see, that many people are doing a balancing act these days. How do you support the people without allowing lines to be crossed? There is pressure from all sides and it seems like everyone is being pushed to pick one. Unfortunately some doing the pushing are not satisfied with peaceful demonstrations. It has to be one of the most difficult things to do. The only true solution is that we need to find common ground and build from there.

What does this support mean to the community? Imagine being a little kid watching these skateboarders in awe. Now image a skateboarder welcoming you into their group and showing you how to skate? That’s just one of the things that DC Wheels, which he was a member of, does. He talked about the club and how the club embraces everyone. Racism doesn’t exist in their culture. That’s how every club should be. That’s the only way to make the world a better place. We all have way more in common than not. I do believe that, despite what the media tells us, most humans know this. The media should stop highlighting those that don’t.

In addition to mentoring youth, and supporting those less fortunate around them, the club is involved in quite a few fundraisers. Below is a list of charities the club has raised money for in the past.

As an artist, I want to give you a little lesson in color theory. There is a big debate between whether black and white are colors. It depends on who you ask. An artist is going to say black is a color because you combine other pigments to make it. White is not a color because you can’t mix color to get white. A scientist is going to say black is not a color, because it is the absence of light, and white is a color because it’s a reflection of all colors. Who is correct?

In my world I say it’s an argument not worth having. Black and white are only two options on a scale of millions and millions of colors. Why focus on just two, especially when according to one camp or the other, there is something lacking. Color is just a combination of red, green and blue light, reflected or absorbed in varying degrees. This creates what seems like an infinite number of colors. More than your eye can even see. All you need to know is that no matter what combination you see, at the core, it’s made of common elements.

When it comes down to it, our physical make up is of the same building blocks as well. This begs the question, why do we see the things that make us so different, when we are just a slightly different arrangement of the same?

I believe most people in their heart are the same as well. I am not talking about those that are in the media, politics or Hollywood. Most of them are there because of ego and they are required to put on a show for the people that got them there. Try to filter that out. I’m talking about the average Joe you meet on the street. We all want similar things. If you don’t believe me, try randomly talking to a stranger today. Then tell me if you find you have more in common with them then you will ever have that make you different.

And please do me a favor. Don’t tell your mom, or mine, that I encouraged you to talk to strangers.

❤️