No Fear
For those of you that follow my Costa Rica adventures, you may remember little Joshua. He only weighs 47 kilos at age 14 and a half, but he has more talent packed in there than anyone I’ve ever met, with the exception of my husband, Fred
I have watched this young dynamo in action and often refer to him as little Fred. This is because his attitude and aptitude are quite similar. What is it about this special ability of Fred and Joshua’s that make them roll models and people magnets? There are some people that when you meet them, leave you in awe. Maybe even a little jealous?
They must have been born under lucky stars, to have this natural ability and charm, right?
In actuality — having studied this phenomenon — I have to tell you, NO.
That’s right. You too can learn how to do things well by removing, or at least managing, this one thing. Fear.
Once a major scaredy-cat myself, watching Fred’s comfort level with everything and then reading a book by Navy Seal, Brandon Webb, entitled Mastering Fear, flipped a switch in my brain.
I won’t tell you all about the book, because of course, you should buy it. It was absolutely life changing. One thing that was mentioned is that everyone has fear. But it’s how you (as the title suggests) master it that matters.
Coupling this new found knowledge with another bit of information I remembered from the past, helped me put it all together.
Growing up my parents were extremely strict. They were very protective, which did not sit well with this middle child with a bit of a wild streak. I didn’t do anything tremendously bad. I just had a rebel attitude. But I also had a healthy fear of doing anything risky. It was more a fear of doing anything wrong and getting caught. It was that constant walking on eggshells that resulted in an uncoordinated person that lacked confidence in almost everything.
As an adult, I discovered that kids who are allowed to try things are, well, exactly like Fred and Joshua. They appear to have no sense of fear when they are introduced to something new. So there is no mental barrier to trying things. More importantly, there are no mental barriers to performing and consequently, performing well.
It’s not that they are not fearful. I was shocked when my husband — who has piloted helicopters, small planes, hot air balloon, powered parachutes and paragliders — told me that he was afraid of heights.
He also couldn’t swim but had no hesitation hopping on a sail boat or catamaran and facing the waves of coming storms. In fact, one of his famous stories was how he and a group of friends rented a boat. They sailed out and then got word of a storm coming. Everyone wanted to turn back but Fred. He convinced them “the fun doesn’t begin until you see the whitecaps.” It was on that trip he earned the name “Death Wish Grotenhuis.”
I don’t want to make it sound like Fred was reckless. He wasn’t. He was just a good decision maker and I am sure he wasn’t doing anything he couldn’t handle. He just didn’t want the guys to miss out on an experience because of fear. He probably had calculated just how far he was willing to go.
When I look at Joshua I see the same drive and spirit. His parents never hold him back from doing things… except for that time he had a group of his friends out on the practice hill, with his wing, ready to demonstrate his flying abilities without adult supervision. But he was only 9 then and just started flying. (He is going to be a great instructor one day.)
He is the youngest paraglider pilot in Costa Rica currently. His big brother Justin started doing tandems rides when he was 16. He looked much older, so no one questioned his ability. Because this past summer wasn’t as busy with tourists, Justin went elsewhere for work. The Costa Rican summer/travel season typically kicks off at the end of December and goes through April. Then begins the rainy season. For some reason there has been an influx of tourists during the rainy season and increased demand for paraglider rides. That is actually why Joshua finds himself providing rides for some customers.
He also races motor cross and is a very talented rider as well. His future is bright. I predict he will win many competitions in the future in both paragliding and motor cross.
Thinking back to when that switch flipped I have since taken many adventures that the old me would have never tried. Some advise to share: when you meet a road block, stop only long enough to think about the best way to move it or go around it. Don’t worry what people will think of you. Some advice from the book, when approaching something that you are fearful of, just visualize yourself doing whatever the task is, correctly.
Think of something that you are afraid of today and give it a try. It can be something simple like the fear of going to dinner alone. Gasp! What will people think! It would be hypocritical of me to suggest something like skydiving, only because I’m not ever going to jump out of a perfectly good airplane, to quote Fred. But I did try paragliding several times since reading that book and it was surprising how easy it was to commit to running off that mountain. It helps mentally queuing up the Van Halen song Jump and hearing David Lee Roth sing — Might as well jump.
The best part, is the sense of freedom that comes along when you embrace your fears and face them straight on.
Enjoy some photos and videos of Joshua’s launches. He did three tandem rides on this particular day.
https://giuliagrotenhuis.smugmug.com/Lets-Fly/Joshua-Flying-Tandem
Here are all the photos of the day. Nine passengers on a day in the rainy season is a good day.
https://giuliagrotenhuis.smugmug.com/Lets-Fly/Paragliding-Dominical-August-2021
